I’m making this my diary tonight!

So here’s just a little bit from me. No real aim or agenda on this post tonight, just because I feel like sometimes I get too caught up with the message I am trying to send with my posts. So tonight, I’m just starting with a blank slate and gonna ramble on about some things going on in my life.

So most of you that follow me on all my platforms have probably seen a post or two about me wanting/needing more followers. I have some big ideas of what I want to accomplish in the next few years of my life. These are big goals that I want everyone to know about and everyone to be able to experience if they want. I’m surely hoping I can start making them all happen sooner rather than later.

For starters, we all know I like camping. And I hope most people know my mission with this blog and my other platforms is meant to motivate people and let other people in situations like mine know, their life is not over. I want to combine both of those things. I hope to camp and along the way help campgrounds make their campsites and grounds more accessible for folks like myself. I also plan to make some sort of a guide or maybe another page on my site where I share all the pros and cons of these campsites. I want to do this not only for the disabled population like myself but also for people like my sister who have kids and need to know what campgrounds have for kids to do or at the very least things that are close by. A camping site sort of guide if one could imagine.

I also hope to find a way to make it possible for me to go to schools to not only talk, but do it for free. I don’t want to have to charge schools or programs at the schools, I want to be a gift to them! But there is a lot of planning that has to go in that will accomplish that. And I have to come up with a good list of things I could talk about before I even approach any schools! That’s on my to do list for sure!

So, those are two new ideas I have in mind but I am still working on getting better at some things I think we can safely say I am just not simply good at. I know there are people wanting videos of how I get in and out of my car, how I load my chair, or how I drive even! And I have yet to make one good enough in order for me to post on YouTube.

A. I feel like work sucks the life out of me sometimes (and I’ll get to that in a bit) and B. I don’t really have anyone that can always video with good videoing skills and C. I am still HORRIBLE at editing videos.

But let me tell you guys, I’m making connections and I’m working on bettering my skills. I’m even gonna get help from one of my students who has his own channel on YouTube and does his own editing! Do what works they say, so I am! Slowly, but surely.

So those are the goals and the dreams. But here is the why it’s all not already accomplished. Work. Work seems to get in the way of the fun stuff but work is important and this year it’s harder than it has been.

But, don’t get it wrong, I’m so thankful I have a job and I’m thankful I’ve have had a job through all this Covid mess. I haven’t had to miss a single paycheck and that in itself is a blessing. And I’m even more thankful for the coworkers I get to work along. But man, is teaching hard. And it’s even harder now with this virus lurking around.

Darian and I (my buddy, coworker, and roommate) were talking the other day about teaching. And we both decided how people who are not teachers don’t understand the stress on us. We don’t have jobs like other people who get to go home and leave their work at work. We go home with papers to grade, we go home with assignments that need to be made, and we go home with the burden of figuring out how to bring our low kids up a bit higher, or how to entertain and intrigue them enough that they don’t want to fall asleep or act up. We are constantly trying to find ways to make learning fun AND successful.

I could write a whole book on the struggles that come with teaching and the classroom. I could also write a whole book on the good moments that come with teaching. No one would continue to teach if we never saw the light bulb turn on in a kid. No one would keep teaching if there wasn’t something amazingly cool about our job. Trust me when I say, we experience some of the best, funniest, realist, and coolest times with kid that are not our own. They impact us just as much as we impact some of them. I know they are one of the reasons I get up out of bed every morning. They are a part of my reason for being alive and they may not know it, but oh am I thankful for those children! But none of that makes our job any easier.

And add Covid into the mix. We have to put everything online, even attendance! We have to answer messages and emails. We have to send messages and emails because kids are not doing their work. We have to call and zoom and respond at many different hours of the day/week to help our students. It didn’t really seem like we ever got off before Covid, but it definitely feels like we don’t now.

And in school. The mask. Cleaning the tables. Being 6 feet away. Headaches. Tummy aches. Temperature checks. Hand sanitizer. And the quarantined students and teachers. We just got hit with that for the first time at our school. We will keep teaching and keep learning without a doubt, and keep doing what is necessary for making those things happen. We just wish we could have all our students and teachers back to stay!

All that on top of your can’t sit still Sam, or your can’t keep quite Quinten, or your can’t focus Franky, or your can’t stay awake Amy. The struggle out there is real. But we are doing it! And we are doing it the best way we know how.

Then I have sports on top of teaching. Again, its cool but it comes with it’s struggles. And this ole Covid bug isn’t making it any easier either.

I know teachers, my self included, that have breakdowns when they don’t realize they are coming. Some of us have had blood pressure issues, some of us have had anxiety issues, some have got on medicine to focus, and some of us have gotten on happy pills to take away what seems to be depression.

Just because I don’t post about being mentally broken down or share about the times of feeling like a failure as a teacher doesn’t mean they haven’t happened. I share the happy moments and the happy things. But those chaotic/breakdown times still happen to all of us, even people who are not teachers. Parents go through the same moments. Feeling defeated and feeling like a failure is a part of life but we have to be stronger and smarter and not let it actually defeat us. One way to do that is to talk about it, and ask for help or talk it out with someone, anyone in our lives.

So, while I have other goals and dreams that I will eventually reach, I’m currently focused on school.

I guess the point of this blog is…Just because what we want to get done isn’t happening today doesn’t mean that it wont happen another day. With the dedication and the focus we can get all the things we want done in our lives. But sometimes, we have to put some things on the back burner while we take care of the things that are more important. Know what’s important and take care of those things and yourself first!

And above all else, know that you are doing the best you can. Know that sometimes when you feel like a failure, you just feel that way because you hold yourself at a higher accountability level. Holding yourself to a higher level is never a bad thing, it makes us become better people.

Keep striving to be a better version of yourself! Because no matter your situation, no matter who you are, we can all improve ourselves. So keep on improving you!