Dreams

Dreams. What do they really mean? Are they things that we think about when we are awake? Are they based on our hopes and dreams in life? Or are they complete random thoughts just made from the imaginative brains we have? Do they really mean anything at all?

I am a person that has crazy dreams every single night. People of my past that I literally forgot existed show up in them. Ex friends and Ex-lovers that I literally never think about. I hope they are doing well but I don’t put any more of my time into them today. Then I also have dreams of places that only seem heavenly. Galaxies and worlds that don’t exist on Earth. I’ve been able to fly and do all sorts of things that are not possible on Earth. And sometimes, I have dreams where I’ve made really bad decisions that ruin my life and dreams in which loved ones die. I like to call those nightmares.

Some dreams are just so bazaar with people I have never seen in places I have never been so I can’t make anything of those dreams at all. But then there are dreams that really make you think.

That’s the dream I had not long ago. I was at “home”. It wasn’t the home I know in Florida, but I knew I was in Florida and that was the home in meant to be because I was visiting family and the houses belong to them.

It was a very short dream but it spoke volumes to me when I woke up.

I remember in my dream knowing I needed to take a bath and get ready for work because even though I was in Florida I knew I had work to get to because it was my responsibility.

When I went to take a bath and get my things I realized I was in a place with many different houses. My clothes were in one, my soap and towels were in another and the bathtub was actually not even in a house at all.

The houses were all on the same level so those things were somewhat easy to get to, however, the bathtub was out of the houses, downstairs, through the grass, and out in the open all alone. I not only needed help to the ground, but the bathtub was gonna be a challenge also. No arm rails, no walls, no nothing to help me get in.

Still, I got in. The weird part was once I got in it turned into what seemed to be a hot tub. And there were a few people in there with me all of sudden. My close friend Melissa, my sister April, and my only famous crush Peter Gadiot.

I remember thinking why are all of these people in here with me?! Then they started talking to me and I realized we were all hanging out, even though I was in there to get clean to go to work the next day, 700 miles away. I had decisions to make. Take a bath and get out or spend some time with my friends, and my crush!

Then I found myself talking to Peter and him slipping away, I couldn’t hold on to him and the tub and the same time for some reason. If I let go of the tub, I would drown, so I had to let go of him.

The dream ended then. What a weird dream right? I’m sure most people reading this may think I’m a bit crazy but this dream is almost considered normal based on many dreams I’ve had in the past. I wake up quite often confused and a little traumatized!

But, this dream wasn’t just weird. It had meaning to me.

This dream reminded me of how much I appreciate my house, with things set up for me, that make my life easier. Everything is low, nothing on shelving too high, I have poking sticks everywhere that help me access things that are high or far away. My house is accessible and I love it.

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When I go home, I always find myself battling situations that are not easy for me. When I visit anyone or anywhere actually, I find situations I have to overcome. The bathroom having only a shower, the house having steps, the bathroom door being too small, the beds being too high, or at the very least rugs that my wheels get tripped on.

In my dream everyone told me this is here, that’s there, then go here! They said it like it was all so very easy for me but it was actually a lot for me to grab this from here, carry it there, then go down some steps to get there. But everyone there thought I was just like them when I wasn’t.

I often feel like people in my life forget the struggles that I actually face daily. Almost 15 years later I’m very self-sufficient and I’ve overcome and done a lot in those years, but life is still hard on a daily bases. Not being able to control my bladder or my bowels produces anxiety every day in my life. My feet are swollen berries by the end of every week. And everything I do, I mean everything I do takes longer than that of a normal person.

As for Peter. I’m sure most people don’t know who he is. So let me introduce you.

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I don’t even know this human being so why was he in my dream in such a dramatic way? All I really know about him is he is an actor, he travels a lot, loves nature, and is one of the few human beings I find attractive these days. But, I could meet him in real life an absolutely not care for him at all. I don’t hold famous people to any special standard because I know they are humans just like us and have many flaws of their own. So why did I dream of him in such a way?

I don’t think the dream was meant to be about him. I think it was meant to be about people in my past that I held on so tightly to when in fact it was only harming me. I think that part of the dream was telling me that I have finally learned happiness on this planet doesn’t exist in anyone but me. It was kind of my own little version of the Titanic.

I think dreams can almost always be looked at being completely pointless but I think if we can take something from them we always should. I think about my dreams as much as I can to see if I can learn anything at all from them and I think we should treat all situations in life like that. God places us in certain places at certain times for certain reasons. I think we should do our best to figure out those reasons and serve our purpose.