Completely Unproductively Productive

What in the..?! What oxymoronic gibberish am I about to throw up now?! Ehh, hopefully something someone can also relate to. Or maybe I’ll just be dispensing how weird I actually am.

Have you ever had a day that when you woke up, and thought, nope…not today?

Well, it happened to me yesterday.

You see, my school is virtual this week because we had soo many teachers out because of being quarantined it wasn’t really productive to keep school open. So we all have been participating virtually. Well, some of us have been participating, and I went with the seemingly larger population and decided, I wasn’t going to participate today either.

You see, I had 47 8th graders log in and submit attendance for the day on Wednesday. Pretty good numbers considering I have about 55 all together. Yet, I only had 9 complete the 13 question practice test. The assignment that almost looks identical to their test next week. The assignment they get 100 for just attempting. The assignment I made a video to share with them going over it so they had the correct answers and cleared up any misunderstandings or mistakes they made. I wanted them to have that video and go over that practice assignment before we get back to school Monday where we will be doing more practice before their test on Wednesday.

But that video turned out to be one that I chose not to post yet. Instead, I didn’t post anything, accept attendance of course because we all seem pretty successful with that! As of 10:30 I’ve had 42 submit attendance for Wednesday and I’ve had 15 more submit the practice test. So we are getting there I suppose. And why should I post something new today for a large percentage to just also add to their list of missing assignments? And, I have to add, the practice test assignment was locked for a little bit Wednesday due to my failure to publish the module it was in. The assignment was published, but the module wasn’t. Shame on me. So maybe they should get some extra time because of a mistake a made!

Covid sucks. It sucks for everyone. And yesterday I checked out, and had a day of doing absolutely nothing. A day where I didn’t even think about being an adult or any of my responsibilities. One of those days where the only reason you take a bath is so you’ll sleep better that night.

It’s those days with ourselves that we need the most sometimes. It’s those kinds of days that remind us who we are and what we want out of life. It takes having those days of solitude that people like myself, mentally sane. So what do I mean by completely unproductively productive? Well, I didn’t partake in any real adult things, but instead I decided to spend a little time with myself. I spent some time reading, watching, researching, and some time planning. And some thinking. Some deep thinking and some day dreaming. And emotions. If you really know what kind of day I’m poorly describing you know how emotional they can be. Not happy, nor sad really, just emotion. What is life? Have I lived mine to the best of my ability? Do I know what it is I want out of life? Am I doing everything in my power to make those dreams come to?

For me, it’s days like that with some deep thinking and day dreaming that sparks the light to set fire underneath me. I tend to be a person that can get too caught up in the day to day responsibilities and I put too much into what’s right in front of me. Now, that isn’t a bad thing, but I think its easier for people like me to lose sight of their bigger goals because we get too caught up with the little day to day goals.

With my age only increasing and this virus infected world of ours, health needs to become of more importance to all of us. And our bodies should be our top priority. Sadly, I go through stages in life where health is everything and then it becomes nothing. I have to work on a better health diet, one that I can stand for a sustainable about of time.

And for the past few weeks, I have a muscle in my back that is getting increasingly more painful. I used to feel the sharp, sudden pain just here and there and it come months a part. Now, I’m feeling that sharp pain multiple times throughout the day. And that has gotta be taken care of. I am not one who is okay with living in pain, nor am I okay with doctors and pills and ways to disguise a real issue.

And my stretches. Stretching is easily on the Top 5 Most Important things when it come to being a paraplegic. The lack of stretching can cause stiffness and spasticity. Luckily for my I haven’t had many problems with spasms in my 15 years of paralysis. But I owe that almost completely on my condition at the time of my accident. I was 18 years old, active, in shape, and very flexible. My legs flopped around like they were noodles. But sadly, over the years they have become increasingly tighter and tighter. And that can be blamed on my stretching routines. I have been everything but 100 when it comes to stretching. But luckily, I’m not too far gone. I just need to put in some work.

And finally, work needs to be put it when it comes to my next trip. This last summer I wanted to go on week or two long trip up towards Montana with my camper. But then, mom started bailing on me because my sister was moving back to Florida and then Covid happened and campgrounds started closing. That’s not gonna be an excuse this year. I’ve decided I think at least half if my summer trip will be solo, and surely the campgrounds will stay open. So time to start getting the tripped planned out on paper and in books! Soo much to come with that trip. Even the planning and the research that will go into that excites me! I can’t wait to share it all with you guys!

We all need to focus on the parts of life that make us feel the most alive and I am thankful I finally figured out what that thing is for me. Me and the outdoors. And I’m ready for more!

Are you doing things to accomplish the things you daydream about? Because you’re the only thing stopping you from getting there. And it’s okay to have completely unproductively productive days here and there to get you going!

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