Do you ever feel like you give and give and give and people all over the place just have tons of little pieces of you?
Over the years I have had some of the very best friends that are now people I don’t even talk to. They have become people I don’t even know how to contact. I have had boyfriends, and even a fiance, that meant the absolute world to me at one point, but now I don’t even speak to them.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like everyone that has played a major part in my life has moved on, I’m friends with most of my exes and some of my very best “old” friends I can still contact at any time. But there are a select few that didn’t end so well.
When I say I feel like people have little pieces of me, what I really mean is I hope they remember things about me and I hope they cherish times spent together like I do. I’ve shared some very fun memories, some very intimate things, and some very embarrassing stories and times. Crappy things happen to those of us with disabilities. Things out of our control that just happen at the worst times. And when you spend a lot of time with certain people, they are bound to experience some of those things with you.
One time my ex and I were in Home Depot. We had bought a place and were in the remodeling phase. All of a sudden I had a horrible stomach pain. I quickly told him we had to get out of there. The drive back to our house was a good ten minutes away, and let’s just say, my bowels didn’t care. By the time we got back to the house, it was too late. He picked me up out of the truck and put me in my chair. He quickly started helping me roll up the long ramp that led into the house. I told him I had it. I really wanted to be left alone to clean up this mess on my own. I really didn’t even wanna see him again that day. But when I was done cleaning myself and everything up, he was there. Still with love. Still with understanding. I can’t recall if we went back to Home Depot or we just decided to have a drink. I probably went for a drink.
I don’t have a lot of friends in wheelchairs and that is quickly changing. I hope to meet TONS more and make some real friendships because sharing those horror stories would be pretty funny and make me feel a little more normal. I love it when my “normal” friends have horror stories like that. It makes me feel a tad bit better.
Back to people of the past. I don’t think being real with people and giving pieces of yourself away is a bad thing. I think it’s how we are supposed to live. It’s how laughter is made and it’s most importantly how trust is formed.
We all have our secrets, but I’m a person that doesn’t have many. If I have a real conversation with a person I will tell them about all my mistakes, faults, and bad choices. Two things can happen. They can judge me or they can love me. I don’t care to have people in my life that feel like they have the right to judge another human being, so the choice is easy for me. Be honest.
I have learned from every bad decision I’ve made and that’s why I’m so open to sharing my past. My past has equipped me with more tools to help others. Relationship advice, I got you! I’ve made ALL the bad decisions and disregarded ALL the red flags. I know all the wrong ways to go about things so I have a pretty good idea of the right way to do things now.
If you do relate and you feel like some people carry around pieces of you, do you have any pieces of them? I do. I learned something from each and every one of my friends and lovers. I’m thankful for the time I spent with them, even the challenging times. I wouldn’t go back and take away the good times with them, so why should I hate the bad times? That’s the secret to life. Nothing is perfect, nor is a single person.
The good comes with the bad. Take it all. Don’t miss out on the good because you’re not willing to brave the bad. (That is no way me advocating for someone to stay in an abusive relationship or anything extreme, hopefully, you guys get what I mean)
We live in a society today that everything is so instant. We can get likes on the internet and meet people on various dating apps. We can trade out one person for 10 more at any given moment. A lot of people do that these days and those people will never have anything truly good. Good things take time. GREAT things take WORK.
Give pieces of yourself away and see where it takes you. I’ve enjoyed my journey.