This will be short and sweet because I don’t have much in me right now. But when it rains, it actually pours.
Mom and I were thinking it was gonna pour on us last night and all day today in Mississippi but God had different plans.
I got mom, Indie and I in a wreck. It wasn’t my fault but as the hours go by I keep thinking of all the things I could have done better. I did the best I could given the situation we were in and I will write more details about it later but what this post is about is something much different. It’s about the struggle that has seemed to follow that one.
We luckily got a ride back to our campsite from an angel of a human who stopped and was there with us the whole time. We knew we needed to pack up and go so that is precisely what we did. We had other angels sent to us that helped which I will also talk about later in depth. We got packed up with their help and mom was a beast and made the six and a half hour drive back to my house where we arrived at about one am. We arrived to only find out my power was off. Because I suck at adulting. I didn’t pay the bill. I paid it and to much of our surprise the lights came on about 15 minutes later!
I made a post on one of the Spinal Cord Injury groups I’m in on Facebook last night to let those folks know what I was going through and told them that even when we feel like we are going through times that will break us we have to remember the one time we were actually broke didn’t break us. We are warriors.
I meant what I said, but when I woke up today and made all the calls I needed to make to lower my bills, return some stuff for money and deal with insurance on top of unpacking the car and washing stuff and getting a few things some what put away, I wasn’t ready for the next thing. And I most certainly did not feel like a warrior.
My washer quit working. I sat there for a few minutes setting it on on new settings to see if it would kick in to gear to no avail. I still have these worries over my head. How am I gonna incorporate a car payment into my life and still eat? How am I gonna find the car I want without inconveniencing others? How am I gonna get the car to the Houston to get hand controls put on it with out yet again inconveniencing others? I lost it. The tears came. Finally. I let it loose.
Because now it seems I will inconvenience others because my washer is broke. Just like me.
I am super thankful I didn’t die and I didn’t kill my momma or my dog more than anything in the world. But I don’t think regular folks understand how hard this is about to be for me to get a new car and how much help I will need.
When it rains, it pours. But there are always people that are family or friends that can hold an umbrella for you. Don’t forget that, keep doing the best you can and don’t feel embarrassed to count on your tribe.